Мандри в Києві with ______________________ , Continued

   When ______________________ and I found the Hostel on Teatral'na with relative ease, we experienced a false sense of relief. We arrived at the same time as an old Ukrussian couple was entering the building, and they held the apartment door open for us. However, once inside, there was no sign of anyone who works there: no reception desk, no greeter. Just a long, creepy, wood-paneled hallway lined with doors numbered in Sharpie marker by hand. This panopticon of bureaucratic hierarchy seems to be a theme in the UA.

We made it! Or so we thought...

   Time to bust out my trusty, Dawson's Creek-era Samsung and start shakin' down some hostel hostesses, en Ingles. Now, it has already been established that in Ukraine, the dialect one speaks locates a person within the spectrum of a linguistic social hierarchy, and people treat you accordingly. I have discovered, however, that Eastern Europeans anywhere within the spectrum will defer to the English language. And so, I opted for English when making a point about being pissed off at the Hostel Teatral'na run around.

289 650 989

Добрийдень?

Hello, yes. I have a reservation here at Hostel on Teatral'na. I've been standing here in the hallway for twenty minutes waiting for someone to check me in, and there's nobody here. 

Ah, yess. Vat es yurr naym?

Ніна Білинська.

Ent venn es yurr resirvacion forr?

I made a reservation yesterday for today and tomorrow. Now I am standing here, waiting, and no one is checking me in.

Meanwhile, ______________________ is in the background, getting riled up. "What's going on?! I knew it! They're giving you the run-around!"

I hold up my index finger for ______________________ to hold on so I can find out what the deal is.

Ay em so sorry. Ve het caple, zey sey zey vant to steh van morre day at ze hostel. Dere es no morre ruhm et dees van. Ef you vant, yu camm to City Hostel on Софійська. Yu teyk ruhm dere.

Back to where we came from.

   Who is this mythical couple that wants to stay "one more day"? It's another theme.

   I repeat this information to an agitated ______________________ , who, in turn, gets even more agitated. This amuses me to an extent, despite the shittiness of the situation at hand. You see, to get to Sofii'ska, we have to go back the way we came. It's actually right around the corner from the Hostel on Khreschatyk. The whole scenario smacks of the old bait and switch, if you ask me. So it goes in the former USSR.