On the Anniversary of MH17, Some Lighter Fare

Getting back to the narrative here... take my mind off of things. 

   Ah, yes, Рома the gentle giant <God, who is shooting off fireworks?> quasi-hipster is showing me around the hostel on Khreschatyk, back in Kyiv.

"End heerre es yure rroom"

   Рома opens a heavy wooden door... Large, serene, beautiful (to my jet-lagged eyes): A four-by-six foot window overlooking a courtyard, birds chirping peacefully, a gentle breeze tickling the curtains, hardwood floors decorated with a colorful woven accent rug (reminds me of home), walls are yellow ochre, stenciled with a Serengeti scene in analogous orange. Perfection!

Can I move in... today?

   With the understatement of the year, Рома asks, "Es okay?" You're damn right es okay! Can I lay down now, please?

"Okay. I cleen rroom for yu. It teke me 20 minute. Yu go eat, I shov yu gut plece to eat, yu come beck, rroom ready."

   Twenty more minutes... how long has this day been?! I can make it twenty more minutes... Very painstakingly, Рома instructs me to go to a restaurant called Пузата Хата.
 
"Zey hev gut Ukrainian food zere. Tourist like, ent i like toov. Very gut, not expensif."

   Welp, I haven't eaten an actual meal since housing a slice of La Famiglia Pizza in the International terminal at PHL--lest we remember the Бандерівці Буфет on my first night in Lviv. He's right... I should eat, let Рома do his thang.

   Despite the slightly suggestive name (you Ukie-Americans know what I'm talking about), Пузата Хата is popular with tourists and locals alike. Food is served cafeteria-style, and Ukie favorites (борщ, вареники) are well-made and well-represented. The interior of the restaurant is on the nicer side if one compares it to, say, a Mickey D's in the States: stone fountains, artificial ivy, faux-marble gargoyle accents.

   My fave feature is the public hand washing sink situated right at the entrance. The first thing you do is wash your hands... after the day I've had, I scrub up as if I were about to perform brain surgery. In doing so, in this moment, I believe the experience has cleansed my travel weary soul as well.

   Time for another Obvious Westerner moment. Please keep in mind that the last meal I had was about thirty two hours prior, three plane flights in two days ago:

I'm ready to eat.

   What are my choices? Let's just say that Пузата Хата has a whole section dedicated to different kinds of borscht.

   Окрошка--a cucumber dill summer borscht similar to gazpacho? Yes, please. Challah bread with more dill and some olive oil? Так. Chicken sausage grilled on a skewer? Sure. Grilled, marinated vegetables? Mmmmm. Caprese salad too? Of course, veg is all good with me (must be my non-Ukrainian side). But what meal in Ukraine would be complete without... вареники, вареники, варе- варе- варе- варе- варе- вареники? (зі сметаною) To drink: Bulgarian mineral water.

Too ridic not to love!

   One look at my tray, and you know that I'm from the US of A... It's like OG Old Country Buffet up in here, and my depleted body is loving it! Total: 79 UAH... about $7.20 US.

I'm watching my figure...

   Needless to say, after feasting I knew that the 'itis (as we say in the States) would set in rather quickly. That is, until I see a Maidan ice cream stand, and order up a Морозиво Шоколадний. Now the eating ritual is complete!

   By the time I return to the Hostel on Khreschatyk, Рома has spruced up the already-spiffy (private) room. I take my 'dush,' then attempt to write briefly... but when my pen trails off of the page, I know that it's time to give up the fight (I'm not even sure who won).

   Time to resign to the cool embrace of clean sheets, full belly, evening breeze... Shoot, it's like, 8:30 pm--not even dark yet. No matter, it's... time... to...